Monday Memories

Let me just give you a run down-

I have had 7 live children, and 5 misscarriages, and one I don't really know what to call it.. Let me explain and maybe you can help me decide what to call it, so in all I have been pregnant 13 times, in 10 years of my marriage.. Wow!!!!

Elaiasi was about 6 months old when I became pregnant with Mohekonokono, and his twin.

I about died, another boy. Wait, another boy.. How in the world did we get two in there.. NO twins on his side, no twins on my side... a miricale, except for the fact that they were going to be my #7 and 8. I was shocked, didn't want to beleive it.

I was truly worried for my sanity, how was I going to handle it. This lasted untill I was about 13 weeks when I finally got excited about having twins..

Then came an ultrasound, they thurouly looked at each individule baby closey this time around, and they spent a whole lot of time on baby A which happened to be the bigger baby by about a week in size.

Then they sent me home and told me that I needed to go see a specialist.. Why a specialist. I thought at first that maybe they were downs babies, and no way was I going to see a specialist for that, I love downs babies, and it wouldn't change the fact anyway.

Nope, they wanted me to go to this somewhere special hospital for baby A. Come to find out that he had a whole in his heart. They said that he would be fine, and that he'd go through rounds of surgerys after birth, and so on. I was ok with that, but very scared.. I still loved him to death, and thought everything would be ok,

About 17 weeks came, ultrasound, not only was it a boy, but 2 boys...We were estastic.

I hadn't thrown up once this whole pregnancy, but I started to around 20 weeks, I thought it was morning sickness, ans it was hitting a little late this time, so I didn't worry, I had a ultrasound 2 days later.

Before they could put the doppler on my tummy, I knew something was not right. I had a sick feeling inside for about a week before that, and I thought I was just being paraniod.. The doc came in with about 4 nurses, and they started the ultrasound. First look at baby b.. Baby B was in his own sac, moving and kicking and sucking his thumb. Next baby A. Just lying there, they moved the doppler around for a minute to wake up the baby,at least that is what I was thinking, but I looked at the doctors face, and it was not a face I ever want to remember. He simply told me that our handsome little boy did not make it.

They told me that it had been dead for awhile and I should have misscarried it. I didn't, and that is why I was soo sick, my body trying to get rid of this baby, but it wasn't happening. I was so sick I almost died. It took me a good month and a half for my body to get use to the fact, after that I felt normal again.

Everything went ok untill about 36 weeks, baby B had stopped growing, I had seen different midwives each visit, so nobody seemed to be worried.. I was, this baby was not as big as the rest.. I made them give me an ultrasound, low and behold baby A. had latched onto baby B.'s placenta and was killing it, so at 38 weeks they started the pitocin.. not fun for a lady who was doing it natural.. but only 2 hours after they started me, Mohekonoknono came to be..

Sorry this isn't exciting but I needed to put this down before I forget one day.. Baby A, was a hero, a warrior and he will be truly be missed. I am not sad, nor was I when I delivered him. But to this day when I see a set of twins, I stop and ponder on how it would have been.. Another Monday, another memory...