( a note- If you think that I am always strong, always upbeat, Please come back on a different day, and leave now)
Yep, you read the title right... I feel crappy. If you have missed me on your blogs, I have been looking, not commenting. I am down, way down. Guess you can call me Devri Downer......
Here is the thing, Thanksgiving was OK, in laws house, good Tongan food.
The next day, Black Friday. Did I go? Yep, Did I buy anything, nope.
Did I watch everyone, Yep, did it make me sad. Defiantly.
I love to shop, I love to buy, I love to give.
The shopping is going to be slim, the buying is going to be scarce, and the giving, well your in luck if you just want my love, cuz that's all I got.
I am trying to stay calm through this whole Laid off thing. It is hard, and it is even harder on my husband.
This is a man who works day and night and night and day, so that I get to stay home with our children.
This is a man who will give you the shirt off his back, and go naked.
This is a man who lives right and loves his Heavenly Father.
So why am I in the dumps.
It could be because the money from the "biggest Loser" competition, is not their. Yep I lost.. I tried my best was a faithful dieter, and started in Sept at 144, and ended the contest at 115.4. I wish I didn't just do it for the money, yes I feel better about my self, I feel healthy, I haven't weighed this since I was a sophomore in High School. But I am sad, I just couldn't lose enough.
It could be that it breaks my heart we can't afford Christmas this year.
It could be that my kids are sick.
It could be that I didn't get to go to church today.
It could be because our dear friend passed away last night. He is 34, had a stroke, and never came out of it.
It could be that every time we get ahead, we fall back. We sent our balance to the hospital bill, and yes cancer money issues behind us, but dang, I wish I would have looked into the future a couple of months down the road, I would have gave up 8,000 dollars so willingly.
Don't get me wrong, our bills are paid, we are not going hungry, this IS because we pay our tithing.
I know that Christmas presents aren't that important, but that tell that to a bunch of little kids anxiously awaiting for Santa to come.
I will be OK, I will get over myself, we will be alright, we have been down this road before, and we will not let sadness consume our lives for too long.
But just saying it sucks, it tears on your heart, and yes I will stay strong, but---
Let me be weak once in awhile...
PS. I have loved all your posts!!
Surprise still comin' soon, promise...